On to 5 (Finally)

Well, after much drama, numerous cysts (one of which still hasn't gone away), I finally received the all-clear today to start IVF #5. Yesterday was day 1 and I had my day 2 scan/bloodwork this morning. This morning's scan revealed that the cyst that I had on the right ovary was gone and there were some resting basal follicles over there. The cyst on the left is still there, but is much smaller. Dr. M said it shouldn't interfere with my response, but we'll see.

My labs today:

FSH: 14.2 (which frightens me, but they didn't seem concerned)
E2: >20
P4: 1.05

I start stims tonight--150 of Men.opur and 225 of Brav.elle. This is a new cocktail for me. I have always used Foll.istim, but we are replacing that with the Brav.elle this time. Dr. M says it has more receptors, and will hopefully work better for me.

My feelings of this cycle are mixed. I am hopeful, hoping that the changes we are making (new drugs, new acupuncturist, new herbs) will be the positive agent we need. But, I am also terrified, scared that we will get more bad news, that it won't work, that we'll have another miscarriage. I am trying to focus on the positive and simply take it one step at a time, though.

I find it quite ironic that day 1 fell on 11/13--my due date with my only clinical pregnancy thus far. I am hoping it is a positive sign, a way of redeeming that day. Instead of having a child turning one, I am starting on a new path that will bring me/us to the child we are meant to have.

I see Dr. M again on Weds., 11/19 for my next scan and bloodwork. Will update again after the results are in.