5.Over

Well, so much for cycle #5. I was cancelled yesterday as I had a raging dominant follicle on my right ovary, measuring about 18mm, with a few others on my right and left measuring about 8. So, I get to return to the start, Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. Oh, and you got to spend $3,000 for nothing.

I go in tomorrow morning for a scan/bloodwork to see if I will ovulate on my own. If I don't, I will be triggered. No Hail Mary IUI, though, as Dr. M wants to start me on a lupron cycle and if I somehow got pregnant from the IUI (ha ha), that would be bad. Not really sure when the lupron would start, but I believe it would be before I start my next period.

A Lupron cycle terrifies me since I am not a spectacular responder as it is. Dr. M said he really didn't want to have to do a lupron cycle with me, but feels it is necessary at this point. I asked him if we should just give up at this point. He said he "would like to try this." So, it appears that "this" will be out last hurrah. Although, I made an appt. for a phone consult with CCRM. It is not until 12/9, but I think it might be good to get a fresh pair of eyes on my non-conducive ovaries.

I should know more about timing tomorrow after my scan.

Underwhelming

I had my first scan/bloodwork of cycle #5 yesterday morning. I had a feeling where it was headed as I was still spotting and my thoughts were confirmed. I have one larger follicle on my right with maybe two other smaller ones and one or two small follicles on the left. It appears that, despite the 375 iu of stims that I am injecting myself with, nothing seems to be growing. The bloodwork confirmed this: my E2 was 71 and my LH was 5.54.

This is basically where we were at this point of cycle #4 and we ultimately retrieved 7 eggs. Dr. M kept me on the same amount of stims and is hoping that things will start growing and my estradiol will begin to rise. I am doing everything I can not to feel dejected already. We started with a higher amount of stims, I am going to acupuncture twice a week, brewing and drinking herbs. Things should be better this time, not more of the same.

Next scan/bloodwork tomorrow (Friday). We'll know more of where this is going then. In the meantime, think good thoughts for my follicles that they grow and recruit some friends to come along for the ride.

On to 5 (Finally)

Well, after much drama, numerous cysts (one of which still hasn't gone away), I finally received the all-clear today to start IVF #5. Yesterday was day 1 and I had my day 2 scan/bloodwork this morning. This morning's scan revealed that the cyst that I had on the right ovary was gone and there were some resting basal follicles over there. The cyst on the left is still there, but is much smaller. Dr. M said it shouldn't interfere with my response, but we'll see.

My labs today:

FSH: 14.2 (which frightens me, but they didn't seem concerned)
E2: >20
P4: 1.05

I start stims tonight--150 of Men.opur and 225 of Brav.elle. This is a new cocktail for me. I have always used Foll.istim, but we are replacing that with the Brav.elle this time. Dr. M says it has more receptors, and will hopefully work better for me.

My feelings of this cycle are mixed. I am hopeful, hoping that the changes we are making (new drugs, new acupuncturist, new herbs) will be the positive agent we need. But, I am also terrified, scared that we will get more bad news, that it won't work, that we'll have another miscarriage. I am trying to focus on the positive and simply take it one step at a time, though.

I find it quite ironic that day 1 fell on 11/13--my due date with my only clinical pregnancy thus far. I am hoping it is a positive sign, a way of redeeming that day. Instead of having a child turning one, I am starting on a new path that will bring me/us to the child we are meant to have.

I see Dr. M again on Weds., 11/19 for my next scan and bloodwork. Will update again after the results are in.